Weird Cycle

So FF was saying I o'd on CD 17, but I tested on CD 12 and had a bfn . . . I looked back at my chart and think that I may have o'd on CD 20 which is consisetent with my normal lp since I got AF on the 21st :-(  This cycle I did do the Clomid Challenge Test - in which you take 100mg of clomid and they test your FSH on day 3 and 10.  This measures your ovarian reserve.  Luckily I came out with a "normal" ovarian reserve.

AF was kinda weird - I was having nausea for like a week, but then on Monday night it got really bad - and the cramps started.  These cramps were almost as bad as during the miscarriage :-(  And AF was heavy that night, something that doesnt normally happen.  Then on CD 2 it was really heavy too, but then tapered off really quickly, something that doesnt normally happen either.  All in all AF lasted 4 days . . . and I am normally a 7 day girl from spotting to spotting.  I hope it is a good sign!?!? 

Well, since clomid made me O later than expected I will now likely be traveling when I O this cycle :-(  Unless of course I O early this cycle to make up for it?  We'll have to see, but I am not expecting too much from this cycle :-(  I guess I shouldnt be too bummed - we had several cycles with perfect timing and no bfp, so I guess this cycle I dont even have the chance to get my hopes up, sigh.

Good Quote

There are three kinds of people in the world, the wills, the won'ts and the can'ts. The first accomplish everything; the second oppose everything; the third fail in everything.

~Eclectic Magazine

I try and be a will, but sometimes I feel the won'ts and the can'ts sneaking in my life.  I need to remember to shoo them away when they try and take over.

When it comes to TTC, being a will is hard . . . especially with 3 losses, but I will be a Mom someday!

Testing

So I got my test results the other day and big shocker . . . there is nothing wrong with me.  Bittersweet.  I dont really want anything to be wrong with me, but on the other hand something simple to fix yet transparent to my everyday life would be nice.

So the doc said he could do IUI with injectables, I can take baby aspirin everyday, and he can give me progesterone suppositories to take either after I O or after I get a BFP.  I have tho think about all of those :-(

In the meantime I am still trying to catch an egg and hoping that the clomid I took for the clomid challenge test will give me another target.