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Monday, April 18, 2011

So Busy

So, I fulfilled a lifelong dream . . . and am now officially a business owner, yeah!  I found out about this business just days before I got pregnant.  I was interested in this business, but once I got a BFP I chose not to pursue it at this time.  Shortly after my miscarriage I received an email that the business was still available.  I chose to look into it a little more and scheduled a phone call with the seller (which happened to be on the 4th anniversary of my Mom's passing) and slowly but surely I gathered enough information to make the decision to purchase the business.  The decision was not an easy one as the business does cater to kids and I struggled with that one.  Would I be able to handle seeing all the little kids all day if I have another miscarriage?  What if I can't have kids at all?  Will this impact my ability to run the business?  after all I cant be an emotional mess at a place where kids go to have fun.  After a lot of contemplation I decided that I wanted to go for it and that if I am unable to have the baby I desire, at least I can get enjoyment from other peoples kids, even if it is only for a couple of hours at a time.  And the business requires a lot of attention right now, so it is kindof like my baby.  I still want a human baby of my own, but after three miscarriages it makes you face the reality that it may never happen. 

I have always wanted to own my own business, so now it is good that I have reached a lifelong dream.  I still have a dream of being a Mother but it does feel good to not hold back on other dreams because of TTC.

So I have been very busy trying to learn and run the business . . . but I just got an almost positive opk, so let the BDing begin :-)

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